A Quenching Glass of Water
A lot of people would probably argue that I am a pessimist, and in a lot of ways I see how that can be true. A lot of people just don’t understand the “grand scheme” That much is true, too.
This morning at a favorite and frequented bakery, the man behind the counter made a comment that I always have a big smile on my face. He made a gentle gesture and thanked me for bringing such energy. “Well when I am here for Chocolate Chip Scone Friday… a smile there will be!” After a few weird weeks, job transitioning, leaps of faith - it felt damn good to hear. I feel so full with the way my life is evolving. I knew all those weird heavy life decisions wouldn’t lead me astray. I am so glad to have been lead this way... The thing of it is - the teachers that have helped shape this way. We work to have the awareness to hear the calls, but then we have to actually do the work to follow them. They might get all the credit, but the sentiment is well rounded, and stems from within.
Later that same day, a women came up to me while getting mulch at the local garden store. She was engaged, curious - loving my logo and my cutie truck bed planter box. Asking me all of the questions. Who are you? What and where do you do? How do you do it? By yourself? How much do you charge? “YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK,” she says. “Keep doing what you do, we need more people like you.” A farmer/gardener herself, at the age of 65 and with lots of land to steward on the coast of Maine - she gets it. She sees the people doing the good work, she knows how depleting it is and she takes the initiative to take the time out of her day to come over and say “you get it to - who are you?” It’s about community. Resilience. Carrying all of these heavy but important lessons forward. How can all of us help educate you?
A reminder that within the moments of sadness, self-doubt, worry - there are people who notice the other side, who see you for you, who make a point to tell you you are doing a good and rightly thing. Amongst the people that don’t, there are plenty of people that want to know and support you.
I had an experience recently where I asked the teacher to give me a glimpse of where this is all headed. She spoke softly and safely when she said “Come with me, i’ll show you your future - it’s so good.” As if that wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to hear, it was all just too much too soon. “OK. Nevermind. Don’t show me.” And off I fled. This brief moment in time felt like a lifetime before I realized what my big problem is, the point where it always goes wrong. I call in that which I want and need and then even when it’s sitting in my lap, I refuse to believe its really there. A good thing? Happening to me? Yes actually… all you have to do is trust it, and you will see.
